Insensitivity

I have once precursor to this post – to this blog really. Clark is worried that we now need to start censoring what we say, because people from RL are beginning to read the blog. She has seen a few blogs just vanish into the night, so to speak, because of RL issues arising. I say, suck it up. Anyone from RL who reads this, if I’ve got something to say about you, I’m going to say it. Stop reading if you have a problem. This is our forum and our space, and we’ve given you the privilege of inviting you to read. I’m not going to change how or who I am – I’ve done that all my life in one way or another, but not here, not about Weeny Beany.

That being said, on to the actual post.

There are people in life that are so dense or so narrow-minded or so bigoted that you know they’re not going to get it. They’re not going to take the fact that Clark is pregnant, and make the association that Weeny Beany is my child too. And you expect that.

Case in point, Clark’s father. While he has made great (for him) strides in accepting that I am part of Clark’s life, he still made the comment on the phone that Clark was providing him with “yet another son-in-law”. WTF? Even for him I have to say that was bad. C very quickly pointed out that she had not provided him with any sons-in-law, only one daughter-in-law.

But, you expect that from people like him.

What is disturbing is when you come across that same kinds of attitudes or assumptions from people who really should know better, or who you expect more from.

In general, almost everyone in RL that we’ve told have been great. They’ve made a point of congratulating both of us (or all three really, now that Princess is in the loop). There have been a few individuals, however, who have completely – I hesitate to say ignored me – more like, it didn’t occur to them that they should perhaps be congratulating me as well as Clark. Plenty of people fall into that category from a party we attended last night, old “friends” of Clark’s from her university days. But then many to most of them I’d actually slot into the above category of not expecting any better, really.

The day of the last scan, when we first told Princess, we also told Clark’s cousin. As Clark already mentioned:

My cousin was adorable and only a bit hurt that we hadn’t told her earlier – she said that the only thing that made it acceptable was that we told her on the same day as Princess, and she conceded that she cannot keep a secret. She was also very excited about the new baby.

What Clark failed to say was that R pretty much completely disregarded me altogether. She was very effusive and many hugs and much excitement – for Clark. Nevermind that I was the one carrying around the scan pictures – or anything else.

And what really sucked was a comment she made later, a question she asked actually. We’d just finished telling how we’d waited to tell Princess, and R turned to Clark and asked her when she told me. Like it was something that Clark had gone and done on her own, and just casually informed me of later.

Excuse me? Like I wasn’t there every fucking step of the way. Like I wasn’t there, awake, at 5.30 in the morning waiting for that second line to show up. Like I didn’t take a photo of said test and have it posted on the blog by 6am.

The most incredibly, mind-blowingly insensitive question, don’t you think? Well, no, I’m sure that it could have been worse, but still I was unimpressed.

Its interesting that the rest of R’s family have been brilliant. Uncle T was talking to us excitedly last night about how he’s read almost the whole blog so far, and has even admitted to being intrigued by mrs bluemont – watch out! Mother Hen M and Clark’s other cousins and their girlfriends all made a point of congratulating me, and talking to me about the pregnancy also. Which makes R’s insensitivity all the more shocking, really.

Anyway, that’s enough, I’ll get off my soap box about that. I guess, as I said, you expect it and you brace for it, but then it still hurts when it hits out of left field.

On to other more positive news. Yay for Bec, expecting a baby boy! I’m crossing everything that I have that WB turns out to be blue flavoured. Not that I won’t be excited if it comes out pink, but the boys clothes are SO MUCH cuter, ridiculously much cuter.

Clark has been feeling the first of WB’s attempts to bruise her internal organs – I’m sure that’s what they’re up to. Right in the middle of a big whine about the not sleeping, WB put his/her two cents worth in and pretty much told her to shut up. And you know what, it worked. Clark slept better last night, yay!, and has now started looking at the sleep thing from a different angle. She’s getting at least a good solid 5 hours a night – I wish I could get a good solid 5 hours, I’m a bad sleeper, and I don’t have pregnancy as a reason. So go the Weeny Beany, getting in on the action already, at only 14 weeks. Going to be precocious…