Dribs and Drabs

There’s so much going on in my head right now that it’s time for another dot point post.

• Thankyou Lyn and Giggleblue for the insightful comments about my last post.  This was something that had occurred to me, and Lazyboo and I had discussed it at length.  At that time, she assured me that she did feel bonded to McBean and strong in our family unit, and that she didn’t think this was the problem she was having so much trouble articulating.  As for me, maybe I’m naive, but the four of us seem so tight as a family unit that I’m surprised this is an issue.  Lazbyoo is as much McBean’s parent as I am, and I’ve yet to notice any angst coming from her about this.  But after reading the comments, we discussed it again and Lazyboo does think that maybe this is what is causing her to be so hesitant.  Taking all that into account, there is plenty of time, and it’s not something we need to rush into.  We’ve decided that we can email with the other families if it works out, but to leave it at that for now.  None of them are even in our state so it’s not as if meeting up will ever be easy anyway, and being in email contact won’t necessarily lead to anything else in the near future.  Lazyboo has also told me that she feels insecure about the possibility of introducing McBean to J, so that’s something that we’re not going to rush into, and will only do when she’s fully comfortable with it.
• I had a long conversation with J last night.  About this and that, and raving about McBean, and what he’s been doing, and how the holidays went.  It’s strange for me, but I really feel like we’re actually friends.  He’s a person that I admire and respect and it’s not just limited to his incredible generosity.  It’s not common for me to have male friends, so this is a good novelty.  I didn’t bring up the other issue, except to again mention that we’re happy for him to provide our details to some of the others, which he again said that he would do at some point in the future.    We did talk about the upcoming donor register that our new legislation will bring in and he’s adamant that he does not want to be listed on it because he just doesn’t trust the goverment not to change the laws again.  But he has assured us over and over again that he’s always available to us, and to McBean in the future if we want it that way.
• I took FenFox out for an outing yesterday.  It was part of her Christmas present and included money for clothes shopping (because we can no longer be sure that she is willing to wear anything we may buy for her), spending other Christmas money she had,  lunch and a movie.  But the biggest part of it was a whole day for her and I, with no baby.  It went really well.  It was hard for me to leave McBean (it was the first time apart from half an hour here and there) but he was with Lazyboo so I knew it was all good.  I fed him before we left, and Lazyboo defrosted some frozen breast milk to feed him while I was gone.  FenFox and I had a beautiful day.  We trawled through a second hand book store, we went to her favourite clothes store (where she got a whole pile of stuff on sale and made really good choices), we had a lovely lunch together and saw a movie which I surprisingly enjoyed (it was Ad.am Sand.ler!)  When I got home though, McBean had been incredibly fussy the whole time.  He wouldn’t go to sleep and cried incessantly and all that hadn’t been helped by Lazyboo feeling quite off colour.  He had just fallen asleep in bed with Lazyboo when we got back, and then proceeded to sleep for another two hours!  My breasts were not happy with that turn of events.  But it was all good once he woke up again.
• Yesterday has really affected our breastfeeding for a couple of reasons.  One, McBean missed a feed so I was engorged when he next feed – and it just wasn’t possible to pump while out even though I had all the stuff with me in case I could.  When the volume was back to normal at the next feed McBean was not happy at all.  And while we were out, I forgot to take my dom.peri.done.  And then forgot again last night.  Resulting in a massive headache and severe nausea last night.  And reduced milk supply today.  It’s really discouraging to think that my supply is so reliant on the meds.  And that my body is so affected by them that it hurts so much when I don’t take them.  I don’t like it at all.
• Our stupid neighbours had a loud and raucous party last night.  And not the ones that usually do but different ones!  It was so loud that we couldn’t put McBean in his room at all so he slept in the bassinet in our room where it was only slightly quieter.  Poor FenFox had no escape but she seemed to sleep ok anyway.  At 11, when I felt like my head was going to split open (see previous point), Lazyboo stuck her head over the fence to ask them to turn it down as we had kids trying to sleep.  Only to be abused.  The lady said, ‘So it’s ok for others to keep my kids awake but not for me?’  What a stupid comment.  You don’t like what the neighbours do so you do it too?  I managed to drop off to sleep about midnight but woke again at 2.  The music was louder than ever, not to mention the shrieking, and Lazyboo hadn’t managed to sleep at all.  So she called the police.  We think that they showed up about an hour later, when the music turned off and they all went inside.  But about 20 mins after that, they came back out and turned the music up just as loud.  They didn’t shut up until after 4.  It was not a pleasant night.
• Lazyboo and I have today started a diet.  We’re over feeling so fat and unfit.  It’s hard already.  And tomorrow I’m going back to training.  Two sessions a week, one cardio, one toning.  I’m really looking forward to it because I’ve missed it so much, and because I feel so yucky and unfit.  But I’m also scared stupid!  It’s going to hurt.  It will also be good to have regular contact with all the other mums trying to get fit!
• McBean is due to have his first immunisations on Wednesday.  And get weighed again.  That’s always anxiety inducing.  It’s been so lovely to hear from both Tiff and Chips that they’re having no troubles with their milk supplies and feeding their beautiful boys.  I’m so happy for them, but so damn envious!

I’m sure there’s more but I think I’ve written enough for now!  Now I’ve just got to try and find a part of my body to photograph that I don’t feel awful about.  Could take a while.