I’ve been listening to Pink a lot lately (cos Princess has just discovered it and asks for it ALL the time). Every time I hear the Dear Mr President song I pretty much collapse in sobs and despair at the world. As I generally do whenever I watch the news or read the newspaper. All these bloody hormones.
Today I took Princess and two of her friends on a day trip to a Fairy Tale park about an hour from home. The song came on again and all the emotion welled up and then one of Princess’s friends said, ‘This is boring.. can we change it?’ So I ranted to them for a bit about how it is important to know about the world then went off in a mental funk. About how I both envy and resent those little girls the sheltered and innocent view of the world that they still so firmly hold on to. How I feel conflicted about the need to make them aware and the desire to protect them from the awfulness.
And then my brain went off on a tangent about the guilt I feel to have exposed Princess to this world. About the guilt I feel for bringing another child into it. [Normally at this point I go off on a more positive tangent that our children will change the world but not today….]
So while I was full of resentment at my daughter and her friends for living in a sheltered world – they are white middle class probably straight kids who are adored and cherished by their families, who will never wonder where their next meal is coming from or if anybody loves them or will miss them if they weren’t around – I realised just how wrong I was, and how self-indulgent I was being.
Princess is growing up in our family. She is discriminated against every day because of that. While it is yet to happen, she is bound to experience bullying and teasing because of who we are. She comes from a blended family and has a father whose indifference will become increasingly obvious to her. Her extended family is a minefield of issues. Her life will not be all spring time and roses.
One of her friends is a crack baby. Both her parents were drug addicts. Her mother jumped in front of a train when she was 3 and her father is god knows where. Since that time, she is lucky enough to have a wonderful parent in her aunt, who is a good friend of ours, who adores and cherishes her. So right now, while she lives in a sheltered indulged little bubble, it was not always that way. And one day, probably soon, she is going to become more aware of her beginnings and it is going to hit her hard. Not to mention the learning difficulties and other issues that she already faces every day that may or may not be a result of that.
The other friend has clear gender issues. Calling her a tomboy isn’t going far enough. While right now she is adamant that she will marry a boy and have children I can’t help but think that one day, again relatively soon, that may change and as so many of us know, it’s not an easy life. She is however, lucky enough to have wonderful supportive parents who do not make this an issue and who accept her for who she is, whoever that may be. Not because of who she is, but because of who they are as parents.
I think it’s interesting that I describe both of these girls as ‘lucky’ for having such amazing supportive families – perhaps an indication of my own troubled upbringing? But they are not lucky, they deserve to have that. They are incredible and beautiful souls who I adore, much as they irritate me at times 🙂
So while I rail against the injustices and awfulness of the world and society and everything around us, I wade through my own self-indulgent resentment and despair and then eventually find hope when I look at these kids. They really are going to change the world.
Awh. They ARE going to change the world!!! It’s easy to get down in this day in age….Stay positive eh?
Ps. VERY glad you will be doing belly shots eventually!! Those are seriously my favourite things!
ox
It can be really easy to become depressed about the state of the world and to worry about the future of our kids; but there is a lot we can do to nurture humane qualities in our children and empower them to make positive choices. May I suggest the following book: Above All, Be Kind: Raising a Humane Child in Challenging Times by Zoe Weil? http://zoeweil.com/zoes-books/ You may find it helpful — both with raising your children, and in helping you feel more hopeful.